Writing Journal – JHM Project

Third Start is the Charm

Welcome back.

I’m saying this mostly to myself than to you, the kind reader who has decided to spend their time reading my words instead of…anything else. So thank you for that. But I say welcome back because this has been a journey for me to say the least. I set this site up six years ago in order to start small and generate content for a fictional world that has been on my mind since Sophomore year in High school. However, thanks to the way my brain works, that was just a bit too much.

I say it was a bit too much because…well I have ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Its not fun. It makes doing things for myself very laborious. When personal activities take real mental effort, it doesn’t take much for me to lose motivation. Funny thing is, if the activity is for someone else, I have no problem getting it done. However, I don’t seem to lose interest as I keep coming back to this project of mine. But if I come across a problem that I don’t have the skills, knowledge, or tools for, then I come to a complete stop. I end up dealing with something called “Decision Paralysis”. I am incapable of making a choice for a while on the subject. Mainly because the problem I came to usually deals with something I wish to achieve and I REALLY want to achieve it. So I don’t give up on it. But if I have no way forward, then I have to put it on the back burner so to speak.

That is what happened with this website. I came to a problem that I did not have a solution for and ended up stopping. I realized that many of the ideas I wanted to work on required tools that I did not have. So, I started putting my extra funds towards purchasing what I needed. Over the next four years, I built a computer so that I could edit photos and videos that I took. I bought a filament and a resin 3d printer so that I could make props such as weapons and gear. I also learned how to upgrade them. Of course by the time I was ready to start printing (now), good enough printers were now on the market that I could buy so I wouldn’t have to constantly upgrade and maintain. I learned how to sew so that I could make costume pieces and I got a sewing machine and leather working tools. I also bought lighting equipment for photography and videography. Then I registered an LLC to protect myself from any stupid mistakes I might make.

Now Dear reader, I am sure there is one question that, if it hasn’t already, you will wonder. ‘Why do all this?’ I have asked myself that for the last 20 years. But I am now able to answer it. I did this because, since elementary school, I was under the impression I couldn’t draw. The fictional world I wished to create was for a comic book I wanted to make. I’ve always loved comics since the first day I went into a comic book store with my cousin in New York. But because I’ve been thinking about this for so long, I’ve become very attached to this fictional world. So, if I made it with the help of another artist…I would have to share the rights for the story with them because I did not have the money to hire an artist on a ‘work for hire’ contract. Plus I could self publish if I put it on the web. So after considering all the things I couldn’t do, I came up with a way to make what I wanted using photography and publish the work on the web. That’s why I needed all these tools.

If you have ADHD, you are probably aware of a lovely trait that comes with it. That trait being that of taking up a hobby for six months, buying all the tools for it, and then something doesn’t go right and we give it up only for it to collect dust for the rest of your days. But I came up with a plan that would give me as much flexibility so that I wouldn’t give up. I even used the acronym for our neurodivergencey. I adopted the ADHD path, Always Doing Huge Designs. I made sure everything I took up could be used towards making my fictional world. This way when I moved on to something else, I could use each hobby later on. This way I treated my tendency to pick up new hobbies as learning opportunities.

Since the beginning of this millennium, I have learned much through school and hobbies.

Degrees
2000-2004 – BS in Marketing
2004-2011 – Associate in Applied Science in Web Design
2004-2016 – Associates in Applied Science in Graphic Design
2013-2016 – Certification in Basic Digital Photography

Hobbies and Tools
2021 – Built a Computer
2022 – Learned Filament and Resin 3D Printing
2023 – Photography Lighting
2024- Leather Work and Sewing
2025-2026 – Voice Acting (I’ll talk about this in another entry later on)

Now I am fully applying my knowledge and tools to getting this website as well as one other site up and running on a schedule that I can manage while working a full-time job…which I haven’t figured out yet. But, more will be coming as I focus more on this site and the second one which is where I will be posting these in the future along with videos on how I come up with and create…what I come up with. That site will be dedicated to a series I am calling “Always Doing Huge Designs”. This site will be dedicated to the actual world I am making. Basically, it will be an encyclopedia for that world.

Anyway, that is all for now. I appreciate you finding this site and spending your time reading this. It means a lot. I apologize if you are reading this at the time where this no graphics or design to speak of. The way I design things is by taking the content that the site shows and designing around it. As I have very little created at the moment, this site is very bare bones. More will be coming over the summer of 2026.

Thank you again and I hope you enjoyed this as you did make it to the end.

I will type you later,

James Hutchinson McGill
JHM

April 20th, 2021

Blog entry for April 20th, 2021. There is no marijuana in this post. I don’t have the kind of money to have some for everyone. Plus, it doesn’t really help my creativity.

April 20, 2021

For some odd reason…well not that odd. Due to my ADHD, My brain doesn’t seem to want to be creative unless I am doing something else. If I have a large amount of spare time with nothing to do, my brain goes inactive. Sometimes if I watch or read something I’ve seen before, it can get me started. However, it doesn’t last very long and if it’s something I really like, it can take over everything and I’ll find I haven’t done one damn thing.

So today, I watched an anime I have seen 4 times previously and it seems to have helped a little. I’m starting to organize how to set up this website as well as figure out what to make for it. I’ve got five stories started, one of which is on it’s third draft. A photography session I would like to do is to photograph a residential street in Chicago that is close to the loop. This will be my first attempt at bringing the general world I’ve created to life. According to the weather reports (my weather bug app), its supposed to be warm next week. So I will plan on taking the train on one of my days off to go take pictures. Bonus, it is currently the time of year from the story the pictures will be based on.

I want to do more than just this writing blog. I would like to be on camera and do video blogs and streaming as well. One idea is to practice drawing while streaming and let people talk to me while I do it. I have also started doing a personal video journal. At some point in the next few weeks or months, I’ll cross over and start posting them to tik tok, Youtube, or something.

The plan is to keep making…anything and getting my brain into the mode of creation instead of just consuming entertainment. It is now time for me to start doing.

Type ya later,
James McGill
Delivery Department

MY Struggle with Habits

Stream of Consciousness Post about forming new habits and getting rid of old ones.

Well it is once again a new month. Last month was fun in that I ended up straining my shoulder. I was surprised to discover how much a person uses their shoulder when typing on a computer. That is my excuse for why it’s been four weeks or so since my last post and I’m sticking to it.

Since I was a kid, I have had this problem. Yes, it is procrastination. Part of it is my Attention Deficit Disorder and the other part is just bad habits. While I am lucky in that I do not have some very bad habits such as Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, I do have a procrastination habit that is my biggest weakness. Also sugary soft drinks that is not at all good for my liver. Please note, it is possible to drink 40 oz of soda every day and loose weight. For the last two years I have been slowly changing my diet in subtle ways that has gotten me to loose 20 pounds. I am down from 235 to 215.

Anyway, back on topic. There is a very good book out there that I highly recommend reading if you have a habit you wish to quit. It is called “The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg“. I highly recommend reading it. I only got through 4 chapters but it isn’t because I didn’t like it. I got distracted and didn’t go back to it. But It laid out its argument quite well and I understood it very quickly. Habits are created when you do something repetitively and you see this activity as a reward. That’s how you get addicted to many things in this life. Smoking, Sex, television, collecting weird figurines from germany from a company that went out of business 30 years ago. Anything can become a habit if you see it as a reward. When you do this, your brain releases chemicals such as Dopamine.

That is part of my problem. This is the reason I am still drinking soda when I DESPERATELY need to stop. Excuse me while I go pour one out for my liver who is been a real trooper in my life. I’m sure there is more but I need to finish reading the book first. I think I know what I am doing tonight if I don’t get distracted by the pretty lights of the TV. Anyway, my brain sees soda as a reward and keeps needing it. The only way that I see as a way to stop is to change things. So I am going to try and make soda a reward for actually finishing a post on this site. Then when I am no longer drinking soda first thing in the morning, I will change the reward.

Now you see what I just did here. I got distracted. Instead of talking about my procrastination and inability to change my habits, I spent an entire paragraph about my soda addiction. Back to the point of this post, though the soda side trip does help illustrate a point. In order for me to want to keep doing something I need to change my way of thinking about it. Working on this project for instance. Sitting down and coming up with something to write can sometimes be a pain. Writer’s block is real and so is ADD. So at the moment, I am sticking with stream of consciousness writing. It makes it easier for me to write about a subject without analyzing every single part of it. That way I actually post to the project.

My plan over the next month of February, is to write three to five posts every week. As I said before, if I reinforce new habits with rewards, it is much more likely that I will be able to form new and healthy habits. The question is, will I be able to make three to five posts every week? That is the goal, but it is not always easy. If I don’t get three posts out this week and only get two, I’m not going to beat myself up over it. Forming new habits is a journey and sometimes in that journey you’ll only go five feet and other times you’ll go twenty miles. The five feet is just as important as the twenty miles.

Wish me luck.

Type ya later,
James McGill

January 2, 2020

It is a new year and I am still the same person. New Year, New Me is BS. Just because a new year starts doesn’t mean you are a new person. So with that in mind, here is where I am at the moment. I have been on vacation for the last week and in that time I have started two blog posts. I have not finished them. I probably will shortly but as of now, here is what I have come up with in the last week.

First, I am not just going to post my stories on here. I am going to use a writing website so I can, hopefully, get some feedback from people. I seem to want to be cautious with what I put out and as I do not have the money to hire someone to critique my work, so I will use a community instead. If you wish to read my stories before they are posted here, go to https://www.wattpad.com/user/JHMProject.

Second, I am someone who doesn’t just dive in and starts throwing things at the wall to see what sticks. I have a need to understand how things work. As I have never published anything and have only ever written for myself, I will not be updating this site very quickly. I have ideas but I am alone. I do not have any friends who are into being photographed, only acquaintances. I do not believe many of them will be very quick to volunteer to be photographed just yet.

Third, the first stories I will be posting will be an introduction to my world through the eyes of Four Characters: Brenda Carlisle, Jonas, Friday Malone, and Tempest. As this will be my first story to be printed, I am going to try and create a cover for it as I write. Watt Pad allows you to upload an original cover to go with your story. I am going to create the cover along with this short anthology of five short stories. So the next blog post should be about that. Shouldn’t be any harder than creating an image for each blog post…crap. Never mind.

So if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to @ me on Twitter. I’m @JHMProject. Otherwise, I have fulfilled my writing for the day, but I think I’m going to actually get started on this five story anthology in the next thirty minutes. I have some thinking to do.

Type ya later,

James McGill